


crimson cheeks, heavy eyes

by jinfairy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Comfort/Angst, Drowning, Gen, Jeon Wonwoo-centric, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi-centric, M/M, Mentioned Kim Mingyu, One Shot, Romantic Soulmates, Seventeen - Freeform, Short One Shot, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, Unresolved Romantic Tension, soonwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 05:33:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19100710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinfairy/pseuds/jinfairy
Summary: Wonwoo just lost the man that he has loved more than himself. He might think that he has no one to live for, but Soonyoung is not going to let him give up.





	crimson cheeks, heavy eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is not perfect but I love me some good 'ol angst every once in a while.

Ten seconds in, Wonwoo was thinking of ways how this would reach his family. He could’ve told them something before he went out of his room but he thought it was probably for the best that he didn’t. If anybody even saw him walking at the park nearby, collecting large stones and gathering them in his cargo shorts, they probably would’ve thought he was a lunatic. Fifteen seconds in, he felt his lungs clenched tightly when he restricted its only ability to help him live which was something he clearly doesn’t want. His head was below the cold water, probably ten feet, and eighteen seconds in, clearly counting, he was surprised he had gotten that far despite the lack of respiratory exercises.

He’s twenty two seconds in when he started to feel his frightful heart and his racing pulse from his nerves then it was twenty eight when he gradually felt the numbness of it all. Wonwoo couldn’t help but ask to himself out of the madness and out of his delirious self under water: _Is this what it feels like to die?_ _Was this ever felt by him or was it just dead silence?_ He wanted to try the latter—to make sure he knew, to make sure he understood, to make sure that he felt Mingyu when he died three days, ten hours, thirty five minutes and twenty eight seconds ago.

At some point, he thought he deserve it, anyway. He could’ve killed the man behind the wheels, blindingly seeing Mingyu crossing the street on his way home—he had the ability to do so and he was willing risk a homicide act—but he knew it started when he asked—actually, he begged—his lover to buy them ice cream as he prepared their horror movie marathon. It was his fault. He’s already thirty three seconds in and his legs were already kicking silent waves as his reflex. Water was entering his lungs, finally.

His whole system was panicking but all he thought was that he deserved it—he deserved this.

It was already two in the morning, the perfect time to die. He even checked in a cheap hostel an hour away from his shared apartment with a corpse so he was determined his plan would work. He was thirty two seconds in when his senses were all over the place because he thinks he heard somebody screaming from above and a lot of unfamiliar footsteps pacing through the sides. His mouth began to open because of the panic settling on his veins. His mind was telling him to rise and he knew this so he tied his arms and legs onto the bottom of the pool.

It was almost forty seven seconds when he pushed his head further into the water, preventing himself to find safety above, but just as he thought he was successful, he felt a hard grip on his lanky arm and slowly the ropes wrapped around his wrists and ankles were no longer there. He was then pulled up, causing him to take a big lump of air to enter through his lungs out of reflex, and found himself laying onto the cemented floor. He harshly coughed the water out of his lungs, making him wince in pain as his vision tried to stay focus.

He shuddered as his numbing body came contact with life and aliveness now that he rose from his possible death. He was slightly regaining his strength and colors began to fill his icy skin before he weakly turned his gaze towards the water, and attempted to go back for one last time, but the same hands who anchored him out were stopping him from doing so by wrapping their arms around their shoulders. His warmth against Wonwoo was scorching him as if he was made of wax.

“God, fuck you, man. What do you think you’re doing?!” was the young man’s first words towards Wonwoo after the man pulled him out of his self-determined misery and his planned-out demise: _fucking_ Kwon Soonyoung.

“Let me…go…” he struggled to say as he almost stumbled when he tried to walk back into the water but with his condition, Soonyoung had enough strength to push him back to his former position.

“I’m not letting you go back in there.”

He stared at his best friend with desperate eyes and it tore Soonyoung because he had never seen him in an aggravated state wherein he’s passionate to die. Wonwoo was never that person. Wonwoo was a lively man behind his introvert nature and timid personality. He was a blooming flower of sweet spring, a breathe of fresh air, an overall sweetheart. This Wonwoo wasn’t his best friend but, perhaps under certain circumstances, he was forced to act upon his irrational decisions and become the worse for himself.

“Please.”

“Gyu wouldn’t like it, Wonwoo. You know that. Don’t do this to yourself.”

 “Wonwoo. Wonwoo. Wonwoo—” he kept repeating in between painful breaths. “I need Wonwoo.” Their names were sacred to Wonwoo because whenever he calls his own name, it was also a call for Mingyu just as the latter saying his own name would interpret as Wonwoo. Their names were inseparable and precious that no one could ever take that significant piece in him. His name was Mingyu’s. Mingyu was his and his alone. He was Mingyu’s. _Was_.

Soonyoung could never understand the depth of their reciprocated love for one another but he knew enough that no one could ever replace Mingyu in his best friend’s heart. Wonwoo feebly struggled from his grip but he kept him safe. He was too strained to fight back. Soonyoung would never understand how Wonwoo was already damned for eternity and how the guilt had already killed him inside. Soonyoung would never understand the extreme grief of losing the person you ever truly loved in a way one could never tell. The world had forsaken him and he was undeserving to continue forward.

But what he didn’t know about Soonyoung is that he knew—at a certain extent, he knew. When Wonwoo told him that he was going to propose to Mingyu at the end of the year, he realized after all those years, he still couldn’t kill his feelings and he was stuck in a sorrowful state for weeks, shedding hours to cry and to endlessly blame himself for catching feelings. At some point, he thought he was worthless and the only way to remove his unrequited love was to remove his own existence but he knew Wonwoo would never want him to do so.

He also knew Mingyu would agree with him that they both wanted Wonwoo to live happily because the one who told Soonyoung that Wonwoo was drowning himself was none other than Mingyu himself. As Wonwoo’s reckless sobs were filling his ears, Soonyoung could also hear the dead lover mourning on the side as well. His physique was a little bit faded and almost transparent and only Soonyoung could hear him. It was awkward because Mingyu also knew and he was afraid that he was ruining something pure but Mingyu only let him. He didn’t had a choice either.

“Tell him I love him so much. I don’t want him to do this. He’s never at fault.”

Soonyoung did. He also told the grieving lover that he can also see Mingyu and become their messenger and at that point, Wonwoo was ready to believe anything that made him sure that Mingyu was still alive.

“Please tell him that I forgive him if that’ll make him any better and that he should continue living with our two dogs. They’re probably hungry right now.”

Wonwoo was still crying but with what Soonyoung had interpreted, for the first time in three days, he chuckled and that sound soothed both the dead lover and his best friend.

The only way for Mingyu to be called for afterlife was to complete his mission and that is to see his lover smiling contently again so with Soonyoung being the only one who could see and hear him despite his figure, with a heavy heart but a determined look in life, he allowed Soonyoung to replace his position and do whatever it takes to make Wonwoo happy again. Mingyu helped him by stating his habits and his favorites as they were living together to the point that he had already said enough and found the both of them finding comfort with each other.

It was, then, at that moment that Mingyu knew he had done his job and he was finally being called into the afterlife but he tried to ask for a little more time just to witness both Wonwoo and Soonyoung walking, hand in hand, in the aisle with their best white suits and everyone that they also loved gathered around to witness their marriage.

In the crowd, Soonyoung found Mingyu smiling at him and Wonwoo before turning to his side and nodded his head. Like a bubble, his appearance dispersed and finally, they were all contented.


End file.
